He knows my name

The song that has brought me through this season lyrics by Israel Houghton 

He knows my name

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life is in His hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And he hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me his own
He"ll never leave me
No matter where I go

This song reminds me of the plan and love God had for me even before I was thought of He had a knew about me I am amazed by the way He loves me.

 

I have been putting this post off for the longest time. Its so personal but I know I have to share this as someone needs to read this. The past few weeks has just been a confirmation of what was on my heart until this morning in service when the Holy Spirit spoke to me loud and clear through this song, I sang it with tears streaming down my face and that was my ultimate confirmation. I choose to be obedient, and I remain true to this blog by only writing what God lays on my heart.

I grew up without the love of my father. He was never present in my life and this caused much confusion and insecurity in my life. The stories my mom told me about my father was that they had a great love, he was the love of her life at the time. He use to sing to her and played the guitar. I guess my love for singing has something to do with him? They never married as he was a bit of a "ladies man".

 

I remember growing up and needing answers to why he did not want to get to know me, or rather he never pursued me. This left me broken and deeply hurt knowing that I could never call him daddy. I never felt the love, the embrace the encouragement, the validation, the affirmation from my father. I knew who he was but did not know him at all. I remember when I was old enough to decide what I wanted to do with all the information I had about him. I wanted to free myself from the emotional pain and the longing for this void to be filled. I determined in my heart with the love and encouragement of my mom that I wanted to see my dad face to face. It was like yesterday that I took two taxi's to meet with him, he did not know that I was coming. I made up my mind and heart that I wanted to release him and forgive him for failing me as a father.

 

I got off at the stop on the road where he lived and walked towards his house. As a 16 year old girl I was determined that today is my day. As I turned the corner I saw him and I knew who he was. He did not recognise me at first. I greeted him politely and  introduced myself as his daughter, he said I though you were my daughters friend. That just hurt so much at the time. I told him

" I am here to see you" I did all the talking and told him this" I forgive you for not being part of my life, I forgive you for walking away, I said to him you wont understand what I am doing today, I am doing this for me this is not about you. I had to explain myself to him, I told him that I am a child of God and I refuse to live my life like this anymore, I needed to be free. Free from the pain of rejection.

 

He stood there in awe, he broke down like a baby and cried we embraced and I finally released my father.He asked me to forgive him and I did in a heartbeat.

I walked away from his house feeling as light as air, the load has finally been lifted. My heart was free from anger and resentment and the spirit of rejection was broken over my life in that moment.

 

I thank God that He was always by my side as a young girl at the age of 16 I chose His way. I had the support of my mom and sisters and had good people that walked the road to acceptance and restoration. The thoughts I had towards my father were good ones I did not long for him anymore. I kept many journals throughout my youth days as this was my way of expressing my thoughts to the Lord as He alone knew how I felt. I surrendered my life, my heart, my all to Jesus the lover and healer of my soul.

 

This act is my story, my pain and freedom all one. I am not ashamed of what I have been through, It has shaped me and made me draw closer to God. God has been a good Father to me, he physically placed people in my life that could show me what it means to be loved, how it feels to be accepted.

 

If you can relate to my story in anyway and you know that you have to release and forgive someone, do it. I hope I have inspired you. Your healing awaits you dont delay it another day. This is your time too, its never to late.

 

Today I am married to a wonderful man that loves me, we have two daughters and they never ever will know rejection. I marvel as I look at my daughters and their relationship with their father. They trust that he will catch them when they fall, they know that his arms are always open when they need an embrace.

My heart is full as end this chapter off.

 

I have a Heavenly Father who knows my name before even time began, my life is in His hands.

 

 

I love you Lord, thank you for keeping me and loving me only the way that you can.

 

Your daughter

Verna

 

Walking in your Purpose

                                        Purpose is defined as:

The reason for existence, the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made.

I am always seeking to live a life filled with purpose, and I know that I can only truly find purpose and peace and meaning to life in God. I can try and fill the void with many earthly things that brings me pleasure for a while, but nothing can fill me up like the love of God.

I have a enquiring mind and sometimes want to figure things out with my head reminds me of my daughter Jodi, always asking questions?  I had a vision for my life since I was a little girl, just dreaming about a better life, hoping that things will change and believing that there must be more to life. I was very talented in school took part in choir, art, drama, sports and would always volunteer when help was required. I believe that God already prepared me for His purposes way back then.

I remember looking in the mirror whilst still growing up and asking myself, why are you here? why is your name Verna? what does your name mean? what are you suppose to do with your life? Growing up in Port Elizabeth in a municipal two bedroom house with so many relatives was all I knew and was okay with it.I grew up with little and was thankful for what we had, not having my own bedroom for instance, sharing was the name of the game. That's all I knew and it was enough at the time as I knew no other way, but I never stopped dreaming. I would sit in class looking out the window and dream that one day I will change people's lives. I always saw the silver lining, and remember speaking to my class mates in an encouraging way even though I had less than them. So without me realising that inspiration has taken root in my heart, I was always drawn to people that had real stories about life and survival.

Finding God's purpose for my life was something I wanted to know and understand. 

Today as a wife and mom  and career woman I am more determined to walk in my purpose in all these different roles. We serve many purposes in many peoples lives, in the workplace and in ministry, but I believe that God gave us His desires and therefore we are able to fulfill so many tasks and influence so many lives. We all called to fulfill His plan for such a time as this, but we have to choose His way.

I also remember a time in my life where I doubted the very gift God blessed me with, because of limitations that was placed on me by people. I felt lost and questioned the very thing I knew I was born to do. Singing is my way of expressing my love for God, I get completely lost in it. I'm not the world greatest singer but know that through singing I expressed the voice of God and utter a message that is needed for a specific season. I will always be a worshipper that is who I am. His breathe is in my lungs.

Never be afraid to live in the purpose of God for your life.

Never apologise to people for the gifts and talents God has placed on your life, embrace the plans God has for your life. Live a life of grace and be unapologetic for who you have become, stay humble and flexible always ready to be molded into the shape He requires us to be. God has called us to greatness He uses people that are willing and obedient, ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

Walk in His Purpose for your life today He has our best interest at heart.

 Jeremiah 29:11 says is so well " For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

A post by Sarah Mae "How to Live a Satisfied Life"

 

 

"Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life."

Genesis 25:8a (NASB)
 

I was lying in bed one morning, my sweet daughter Caroline tucked in close, as I rubbed her head.

She had come down a few minutes earlier to snuggle. It was early, 5:30 a.m. but the sun shone through my bedroom window, gently easing me awake.

As I stroked her soft hair, I kept thinking about how much I love her and how she is growing up so fast. Six years old now.

Four years ago I wrote about how exhausting it is to tend to little ones, especially at bedtime when you’re spent and just need a break. But how yet, even in the crazy hardness of it all, God made it so that our little ones would need us. Close, and soothing and available. I find that those words are just as true today. She still needs me, pulled in close, surrounding her with comfort and love.

And so I do this. I let her get into bed with me in the early-morning hours because I don’t want to miss it — this precious time, this cuddly, sleepy, warm, tender time. I know it is only for a season, and one day, it will be gone. But I have the here and now; I have today to take it in and enjoy.

And this is how I want to live, taking in these moments so that I can look back on my life and not regret that I missed them.

Every day I get the opportunity to start new. Every day I can begin again. Maybe I missed it yesterday. Maybe I got too busy or I got sucked into Facebook, or I just didn’t want to play with my kids. Those are the moments that keep me up at night. Those are the moments I need God’s grace to cover me so I can start over. I need His help every day.

This loving, this mothering, this living that I’m doing requires sacrifice and work, and I need daily reminders of this truth, or I will let the days carry me off, one rolling into another. I don’t want to regret my days because I don’t want to regret my life.

Here’s the thing about regret: We can’t escape it because we can’t escape sin.

We will have things and times and decisions we will regret over the course of our lives. The key to really living, to living unregrettably, is not to have no regrets, it’s to know and choose to begin again. It’s to be fully awake to our decisions. It’s to choose the direction of our lives the best that we can, with who we are and where we are. It’s to trust God, walking forward in faith, knowing that He delights in us as we delight in Him and the good things He gives us.

We can live in such a way that at the end, we can die satisfied with how we lived.

Satisfied. Not perfect.

Abraham died satisfied with his life, but we know that he sinned and made poor decisions in his life. He didn’t live perfectly, but He followed God by faith, and he lived a well-spent life. He died satisfied.

When we sin or fail or botch up something again, we can decide to move forward, learning from it, and beginning again and again and again. This is how we keep on.

This is how we live a satisfied life.

Heavenly Father, thank You that You don’t leave me in my mess. Thank You that Your mercies are new every day, and that I can begin again. Help me to never forget Your grace, and please help me to live a life that is well-spent. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
 Ecclesiastes 3:12-13, "I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor — it is the gift of God." (NASB)

John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (NASB)
 

"Jump Mom"

 

My nine year old daughter Jessica is my photographer at home, and she charges me for her services may I add:) this  past weekend she took some pictures of me as usual. What made this photo shoot different was when she told me to jump while she was snapping away. In her childlike tone she said "jump mom". I tried my level best to jump as she took these pictures as everything inside me did not want to jump!

 

Jessica had such a great time directing me on how high I needed to jump I followed her lead and I trusted her.  We laughed so much and I really had a great time especially after the week I had. I so needed to laugh out loud as life and work can get a little crazy. My daughter did not know that she taught me a lesson by just taking casual photos of me. I realised just then how caught up I was in my own little world, the fact that she told me to jump my mind and body had to follow through with the instruction an action needed to follow.

 

In my mind I was like no Jess people are watching, my body is stiff I could thought of the excuses.

 

 

 The minute I let my feet of the ground I felt lighter and trusted her lead completely, this reminded me of complete surrender to God. As a wife and especially a mom I took the lesson from this very innocent child of mine and realised that I needed to trust God more with the little things that so easily get me my heart and mind in a mess. Letting go is such an easy action by me throwing my hands in the air and me lifting my feet of the ground was all I needed to do to feel the release. We over think the process of letting go so much and me just following my daughters voice and lead, I instantly felt a change and a release.

 

Just as my daughter gave me direction on what to do next, I was reminded to trust the voice of the Holy Spirit that speaks to me daily and I need to hear his still voice. Jump into the next chapter of your life as you trust the leading of the Holy Spirit.

 

 

I trust this post blessed you as I was blessed out of my socks.

 

Leave me a note, till next time....

 

 

 

 

I am Content

 

Contentment a word that has given me a new appreciation for life, a word that puts my life into perspective in so many ways.

 

The Bible is clear about being content according to Philippians 4:11 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

 

I know what it is to have little and I know what it is to have much, in both circumstances I have learnt to be content. Contentment is a personal journey and one has to experience the beauty thereof for oneself as we are all individual and unique. In life we will be tested, we will be tried and we have to go through the process and come out on the other side refined and and changed, having passed the test and lesson learnt. Run your own race, its not a competition, its not a game, it a journey of pure refinement.

 

My experience with being content has taught me to love myself, love the body I have, love the family I have, love the home I have, love the job I have, love the people God has entrusted me with. Choosing to stay in peace and not allowing myself to get intimidated or react to situations that will steal my joy and peace.

 

I choose to be content, I choose to stay in prayer, I choose peace, I choose joy, I choose to love, I choose to forgive, I choose Life.

 

I hope this post inspired you to find contentment within the deepest part of you, it is within you, find it.

 

 

 

Celebrating 13 Years of Marriage

On the morning of my wedding thirteen years ago, I woke up extremely calm and excited aIl at once. I pinched myself  a couple of times thinking girl you are getting married today, and you leaving your hometown Port Elizabeth to a new life in the big Johannesburg.

 

I left behind my mom and sisters, family and friends and a great church that I was part of for most of my life. Starting over in a foreign place not knowing anyone was very daunting. Nonetheless this was the beginning of great journey that awaited Brandon and I as soon as we said" I do". We literally left it all behind, "Leaving and Cleaving"

A lesson that I learnt early in our marriage was to always stand as one, united no matter what the odds were, we had each other. We did not have much in material things but we had more than enough we had us. We settled well into our new home and soon after that we had to move to Swaziland for 9 months, another adjustment for us, but we made it work. We were determined and focused to build our lives together.

 

I think of the pearls of wisdom I was given at my bridal shower by aunty Mercia, she said you must make your house a home, you as a woman have the power to change the atmosphere the minute you walk into your home just by the tone of your voice, a lesson that stayed with me throughout the years. Young and married was an adventure, we had loads of time together,before the kids came along.

 

We faced challenges, we prayed, we cried, we laughed, through sickness and health, for richer for poorer. We are still learning in this amazing journey called  marriage. When times were hard and family far away ,we found family in friends and still have those people around today. We learnt how to appreciate each other and not take anything for granted.

 

Keeping the communication lines open at all times and forgiving each other quickly keeps the love tank full. Spending time together alone with no kids around is something we invest in, to keep the love alive. I can go on and on but I feel really blessed to have met such a wonderful life partner. We so different and yet we fit. We know it is only by the Grace of God that we are who we are today.

 

Thank you for reading and sharing in our joy, thirteen years and counting !!!

 

 

 

 

Honouring My Mom

Jessica and Jodi, I love this photo display of sisterhood

 

  

Mother's day is a day that gets me all emotional, I think of my own mom who lives in another province and miss her physical presence on days like these. My mom is a very simple woman, she raised me well and did her best with what she knew, I can hear her words ringing in my head "Always treat others the way you would like to be treated, Respect goes a long way". Growing up as a child we were always taught to call our elders by auntie or uncle titles, I still do this today and people sometimes react strangely, I simply do it out of respect as my mom taught me. I teach my girls to do the same.

 

I grew up with my mom and sisters, we did not always have everything and I don't know how my mom did it, but we made it everyday and made the best of what we had. Its amazing how much of my mom I see in myself, the way she talks and prays, they way she loves others has always inspired me to be a better person. She would always make enough food in case another mouth needed to be fed. 

 

Girls twirling love the freedom and innocence

  

As a mom to my two girls I am reminded what my mom taught me and how I can use those fundamentals to teach my own girls. Motherhood does not come with a manual and as a mom I often wonder if I am doing enough, am I doing the right thing, am I exposing my girls to enough life experiences. I can only comfort myself in knowing that I love them unconditionally and want the best for them and trust God to help me be a better mom each day.

 

 

I have many adventures planned in my head and heart for both my girls as I would like to give them opportunities I never had. As far as taking trips Jessica my eldest daughter always says she would like to visit Paris and Jodi my youngest says Mom I want to go to New York, so these girls have vision and I would like to make their dreams a reality someday.

 

I enjoy doing the simple things in life with them, reading a bedtime story, cleaning up together, baking, watching their princess fairy tales stories over and over, massaging each other, shopping and all the girly stuff. My girls are very artistic they love drawing and writing me personal notes, this is one way they express their love. I love watching and listening to how they interact with each other as they say some stuff to each other that makes me think and laugh all at once. I love listening to the way they pray as they just speak their little mind to the Lord,from thanking God for the bugs and praying for people with no food on the street. I treasure these moments and this at the end of the day puts a smile on my face and keeps my heart full. They growing up so fast and before I know it they will be teenagers then adults making their own decisions in life. I don't want to think about that yet ......

 

Enjoy the journey called Motherhood it unravels each day and you don't have to know it all at once, stay in the moment and take it all in. Thank you mom for the lessons your life has taught me and still teaching me today.

 

Wishing all the Moms a Blessed Mother's Day.

 

Thank you for reading, do leave a comment below I would love to hear from you.

Maintenance

Maintaining a good attitude automatically separates you from the rest.

We choose daily, we choose joy, we choose to be sad, we choose to love, we choose to celebrate, we choose to stay angry, we choose to forgive, we choose freedom, we choose life.

 

Without maintaining ourselves and the stuff we accumulate in life like our cars, our homes, our appearances, our careers, our health it will all fall apart. I know that we as women have loads of personal maintenance that we do every week, or every second or third week. We maintain our hair, nails, brows, eyelashes, face, feet, body and the list goes on.

 

 

So this got me thinking of just how much more I need to maintain the condition of my heart. What I allow in and out, what I say and what I don't say. I have to be responsible in my attitude and thoughts.  We need the oil of joy to be continuously be poured into our hearts. A car needs oil and fuel and regular maintenance to give us its best performance. As women we use beauty products, make up to enhance our daily appearances we do this because we love ourselves and maintaining to look good is a personal choice.
 

We are instruments in use on a daily basis, and we can choose to make a joyful sound, by a smile, a waive, a hug, a touch, it is all up to you.Maintenance is ongoing so we keep growing each day to become better people.

Proverbs 4:23 says Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it (NIV).

I would love to hear from you leave a comment and let me hear your heart.



 

 

 

 

 

#RedMyLips & Leopard Print

Outfit Details: Top: Miss Boss Couture/ Skirt:Gifted/ Shoes:Truworths

 A fashion posts on my blog, for a great cause in support of #RedMyLips Campaign for the month of April and for my love of red lips.

 I love the bold leopard print skirt, so comfortable and stretchy hugging my curves in all the right places.

The length is perfect and it gives me a elegant and classic look.

 

The red lip stain lipstick really compliments the entire outfit as it brings a pop of color and that is all that is required for this outfit.

 

I am showing my support on the blog today in supporting #RedMyLips Campaign for the month of April. Speaking out against women abuse and victim blaming.
Check out this post from my fabulous blogger friend Mrs Rogero who is currently running a #RedMyLips Competition on her blog.

Enter now:  http://www.mrsrogero.com/2015/04/redmylips-competition.html

  Remember to always Look Good, Feel Good, Do Good

 

"She"

Just the other day while washing dishes, my hubby grabbed the dishcloth and helped me dry the dishes, I appreciated his thoughtfulness and this made me think of so many other women that rely on husbands, domestic workers, family members and friends that help create harmony and balance in their lives.

As a working mom I find myself running all the time, making sure that I have a balance between work and home is very important to me and boy some days I don't know if I am coming or going.... true story but I find that I manage day by day.
 

My household needs order and I must admit that some days my family is off to a great start and other days I need some strong coffee and a whole lot of Jesus!!!

 

 

 

We as women are the fuel that keeps our homes moving, as much as I plan there is always something unexpected that comes along, whether it is work or at home. I find myself having to adjust my rhythm and flow of what the day requires. It all works itself out one way or another. Whether you are a working or stay at home mom, we all have the same challenges in creating great harmony and balance for our families to thrive and flourish.
 

          I call it the power of "She"

She is Woman, She is Unique, She is Strong, She is Loved, She is Brave,

She Rises Early, She Prepares, She Prays, She has Presence, She has Purpose, She designs the Life She Loves, She has an Edge, She has Style,

She stays Grounded, She Inspires, She loves  Unconditionally, She Cries,

She Laughs Loudly, She knows who She is and Who's she is, She is a Gatherer, She is Wise, She is Not Afraid, She seeks Council, She is a Wife, She is a Mom, She is a Daughter, She is a Sister, She is a Friend.

 

 

In closing I hope you know how much you are Worth,

     You are the "She" that holds it all together and Your Presence sets the tone in your home and in the work place.

Keep Shining, Keep Dreaming, Keep Praying !

 

 

Leave me your comments I would love to hear from you.

 

You are Enough

 

 

Pondering this whole week on what topic to blog about, I woke up this morning with a line on my heart  " You are Enough"

I often wrestle with my thoughts about why I do what I do, especially when it comes to people and relationships. I am that person that will go above and beyond for others and often wonder why I do that. I love hard and break easily too.

 

I have come to a place in my life where I am not as tolerant of certain things anymore, situations or things I use to brush off before have become important matters to address for my own growth. I have matured over time and choosing my battles wisely. I have rediscovered my worth. We give people permission to treat us a certain way sometimes knowingly and unknowingly.

 

 

My husband is such a great supporter and believes in me and he always encourages me to celebrate myself. We had a deep conversation the other night and he reminded me of how far I have come in life, overcoming many obstacles and circumstances. He told me You are Enough !

 

I realised just then how much more I am worth to him, the kids, family and friends.

 

I guess we all have these moments in life where we wonder how important we are to others we love. We hold people in different places in our lives and finding your core people and purpose is so important, those that really love and respect you, those who make time for you and value the relationship.

 

I have learnt to set some boundaries for myself as not everyone I meet is for me, a very important lesson I learnt that saved me from much heartache. Sometimes we meet people and they stay in our lives only for a season, some people we meet stay for a lifetime. It is important to recognise this purpose as this gives you a greater understanding in the role you meant to play.

 

I love the scripture in Luke 6:31 that says "Do to others as you would have them do to you".

 

You are Enough, You have much Worth, You deserve Love and Respect.

 

Leave your comment below, I would love to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Corporate Mix and Matches



Mixing a casual pants with a structured peplum top creates balance

I am no expert in knowing what the most appropriate corporate attire should be, but one thing I know for sure is that every women has a inner voice when she styles herself for the day. You either listen to it or choose to ignore it. I have worked in the corporate environment for almost 15 years and have seen a lot of do's and dont's in styling for the office and I am still learning.

Every women can look her best at work if she chooses to take the time in planning her look. Someone asked me the other day why do you dress up for work ? I was a littlle flawed by this question as I dont think I dress up for work. I dress appropiately for work, for my age and my environment. I also struggle most mornings in choosing an outfit that can best describe my mood, depending what I need to do for the day.

This is and old post from VPSLookBook, it describes comfort

I have a few rules that I choose in styling myself and those are Comfort, Classy, Modesty and Balance. I am guided by this mostly when styling each morning. I too make blunders just the other day I wore a dress with a side slit that was just below my knee, I did a lot of running around and found that my dress shifted alot througout the day. I was most uncomfortable and wished I could have sat at my desk all day. Just then I wished I had listened to my inner voice.

Less is more, I believe one does not always need alot of clothing and shoes you simply need to know what pieces work well together.

This look descibes classy also an old post from VPSLookBook

I have a friend who is a qualified Image Consulant Nastassja Petersen also known as MrsRogero follow her on her blog www.mrsrogero.com  she inspires me to push the boundries in mixing things up, adding colour and textures to my wardrobe. Dressing for one's personality she illustrates this so well, and this does not mean because my personality is outgoing and freindly I have to dress outragouesly. Styling with accessiories makes an outfit diffrent and interesting.

Looking good is my way of loving myself, as a young girl I watched my mom get ready for work, I use to lay on my bed and watch her every move, from her slipping on her dress to combing her hair, and then doing her makeup. I guess I was always intrigued and could not wait to grow up and do it myself someday.

Trends in fashion change all the time, look for good quality pieces that will last throughout the seasons, wearing what works for your bodyshape is key in looking and feeling your best.

I end this post with my famous quote "Look Good, Feel Good, Do Good"

Leave your comments below, I would love to hear from you.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

 

I Love my Curves.

 Celebrating my changing body has changed the way I feel and look at myself.

After giving birth to my daughters my body has never been the same and 

I love this body.

 I love it more than the one I had before kids.

 

.

Curves and Confidence goes hand in hand.

Accepting my body changes and imperfections made me more aware that I am fearfully and wonderfully made according to Psalm 139:14 that says "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful,

 I know that full well".

 

As women we are always looking for the next best product to enhance our appearance like finding a good skincare range, makeup or serum to makes us feel good and look good. Personal grooming is a topic I love to speak about, It demonstrates the love and respect you have for yourself and how much you care for the body you have been given, be a good steward.

Loving ones body "perfect or imperfect to you" is a daily walk of acceptance.

 I know women that cannot look at themselves in the mirror for too long, as what they become uncomfortable looking at the "lumps, bumps and stretch marks". I am simply encouraging you to love every part of you, look at our beautiful body and appreciate its daily function and what you have put it through. I know how it feels to have a little extra weight, loosing it and putting it back on again. Living healthier requires commitment, a good attitude, discipline and a good support structure.

  You can do it!

   Don't forget you on a journey.

Love the body you have now, and if you know you need to make changes, then work towards the body you would love to have. Do what works for you, and remember to celebrate yourself, you doing it for you, we all shaped so differently and finding the beauty in that is freeing and liberating.

      You are unique, one of  a kind.        
    I hope you found some Inspiration let me know what you think, do leave me your comments.

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Forty and Free

Forty and Free that is how I felt on the morning of my birthday. I woke up with mixed feelings excited and overwhelmed all at once. My husband and kids overwhelmed me with so much love, hugs and kisses and gifts of course. I am truly a blessed woman no gift could compare to the love I have in my heart for them. I remember getting calls from my family and friends and their kind words of encouragement and inspiration made me cry so early in the morning. I loved every minute of it and knew that it was only by the grace of God that I made it thus far.

I felt a "shift" on the inside of me take place, no longer did I need the approval from others, no longer did I ponder on things that I knew was beyond my control. I felt a sense of freedom and peace understanding who I was and still am, a freedom and peace that only God could give.

My heart was free, free from rejection, free from fear of failure, free from man's opinion of me, it did not matter anymore!

Growing up in a "broken home" with my two sisters raised only by a single mother, made me the strong woman I am today. I knew that I had to have substance and great character in life to make a difference. Not knowing the love of my father that I longed for deeply growing up, it too did not matter anymore, as I look back on my life it is truly only the love of God and Grace that pulled me through. I will not allow myself to be boxed in by my past, my own limitations and opinions of anyone else. I know I am called for greater things, to inspire and build others up, I will fulfill the awesome plan God designed for my life.

I am my mother's daughter, I am my sister's keeper, I am Woman, I am Free.

I also am a wife to Brandon who is the love of my life, and mom to Jessica and Jodi my precious girls, they are my pride and joy and they keep me on my knees.

 I decided long ago that I will not  allow my past to keep me trapped, I will not blame anyone and play the victim. I would like to think that I made good choices, I waited on God and in waiting, I cried and prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Life is precious and it is a journey, one step at a time, one moment at a time. I have determined as a little girl that no matter what I will serve the Lord with all of me, and I knew at young age that there had to be more!

Ephesians 3:20 is my anthem  for life "Immeasurably More" that explains it all.

I have let you into my life with this very personal post as I have nothing to hide, we all have a story to tell no matter how painful you think it is, you will inspire someone and give them hope and a voice to share theirs.

Thank you for reading this post, share your story with me, its ok we all on a journey and we all need inspiration along the way.